I don't remember seeing Gone With the Wind for the first time but I remember hearing my mom's account of seeing it for the first time. It was her first time experiencing an intermission during a film. She thought the movie ended with Scarlett's bold declaration "God as my witness, I will never go hungry again!" She thought 'well that's a terrible ending!' then the word "intermission" filled the screen. 'There's more?' she thought 'how long is this movie?!'
Of all the characters in the film, my mom is most like Melanie. She is goodness incarnate, anyone who knows her will tell you she's an earth angel. She has always seen the world from a sunnier disposition than I do. Like my dad, I have been anxious my whole life. Incessantly plagued with the "what ifs" my creative brain could find a lot to worry about. Sometimes my mom would read me the What If poem by Shel Silverstein. Sometimes she would sit at the foot of my bed and squeeze my socked feet, making awkward eye contact with me until I laughed. Most of the time she would tell me "just be like Scarlett O'Hara in Gone With the Wind, say 'I won't worry about that today, I'll worry about that tomorrow!'* She would always stick her chin into the air and pull her shoulders back as she said this, embodying Scarlett's proud energy. I think about her delivering this quote to me about as much as I worry..which is to say, a lot! Putting off worrying is a useful skill in battling obsessive worries and intrusive thoughts. I'm always trying to hone that skill so I wanted to paint Scarlett O'hara while I meditated on the most important thing my mom told me about Gone With the Wind. It went something like this:
"When I first saw Gone With the Wind I hated Scarlett! I thought she was the most awful, spoiled brat! She made terrible choices and was completely self centered. When I watched the movie again after having a few kids and experiencing some hardships of my own I saw her very differently. I saw a kid raised to be spoiled and not taught to consider how other people might live, so she didn't know any better than to expect everything handed to her. That being said..when everything went sideways and it was all ripped from her she didn't give up. She could've accepted defeat many times. Instead she always picked herself up and found ways to move forward despite the hardships she was facing. That takes a lot of strength and courage and that's something to admire."
As someone with an anxious brain I tend to see things in harsh, black and white extremes - and I judge myself accordingly. The reality is, life is a mess of infinite shades of every hue imaginable. I have to remind myself often that it's okay to be human and make mistakes. It's okay to be lost somewhere in the in between, where our humanity gives us our color. Where most of the time it's nothing good or bad, nothing unforgiving or boundless, it just..is. And being human is hard.
I chose to finish this piece with a sparkling flourish of Georgia Magnolias as they are a symbol of perseverance - and a beautifully bold one at that, just like Scarlet O'Hara. Do me a favor today and tell your worries "frankly my dear(s), I don't give a damn" and think about them tomorrow!
This piece was painted with watercolors on watercolor paper and embellished with handmade metallic watercolors by Lisilinka in Germany.
*The full quote is "I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow"